I feel a bit reluctant

to start a blog
let things out into the open.
I've always had a tendency to be unreasonably secretive
storing bits and peices of my insides
in random people.
I suppose when i'm gone
everyone that has ever konwn me will have to hold a huge meeting
revealing everything i've said to them
and they'll peice it all together.

now with this
another attempt to find an outlet
I feel as though i've done too many things that I cannot speak of
especially on the world wide web
but I suppose i'll be vague as usual.


2008 has been rough
but
I feel as though i've developed more as a person
I don't know if I enjoy the transition
but I suppose it could be worse.
I've definitely become more
cold
harsh
controlled
mellow
unfeeling
appreciative
aware
productive
and
loving?
I don't know.

People can say that i'm heartless
but i'm not going to get myself all bent out of shape over a person who doesn't deserve my friendship
My relationships are not a given
they're earned
i'm not going to deal with people who I genuinely don't enjoy
so
get over it.

I know who I love
and thats all that really matters.

People can talk
and talk
and talk
and talk
but it doesn't affect me.

If time has taught me anything
its that
people come and go
and you'll always know who are the ones who you'll always remember.


god
this had really no point to it.
I was watching Maria Bamford do standup
and i've just been
writing along aimlessly.



my littlest cousin Abby just got out of the ER
she had an ear infection that overpowered her
and peirced her eardrum
I know she'll be okay though
shes always been the one who can survive anything