i just remembered

How much I like working with my hands
And how much I hate working with my dad.
Woke up at six
My dad, Erick, and I drove to our condoe
And we worked.
The walls had to be torn out
And everything thrown out.
I was pretty content when I got myself in the swing of things.
The only issue was my dad
Who got super irritated by the wet vac at one point and started yelling about everything.
Even Erick got upset with him.
Its just a temper thing
And I'm the same way
If not worse
Its just I know how to be subtle.
I have no idea what I'm going to do for the rest of the day.
Theoretically, if I scrounge up gas I can go see Rolie before he works but I don't know if I even want to. I just feel chronically bored.
And the whole being broke deal does not help.


What really defines a person as good?
All our moral limitations and boundries are relative. The hypocrasy of it all is just strange. I really can't judge a person.
I can dislike someone but I won't let myself believe that their core being is the cause.
For example,
Girl who fucked my boyfriend.
I may resent the shit out of her but can I really assume she is a bad person? Can I really call her a slut and be done with it?
Who knows, maybe she cared for my boyfriend
Or maybe he was aggressively persuasive like I know he can be.
The real person I should be hating the core of is said boyfriend. A man with no personal self control and integrity who has a passion for deceit.
I really can't keep hating these girls
But I can't help forgiving him.
I just want to feel angry for my injustices.
I don't understand how I should deal with these feelings.


Half of the day ahead of me. It feels pretty pointless.
I'll probably go sit with Juan and enjoy conversation and cigarettes.

i'll try to be an optimist